The government stole my lunch!

Government; Hey, people are suspicious about this new thing we’re proposing. How can we stop them questioning it so we can do it anyway?

Lacky; Stop denying it’s a bad thing.

Government; Eh?

Lacky; Go with it. Support it. Propagate an overblown hysteria about its negative impacts.  If you deny there’s anything wrong, people will start investigating. But if you turn the whole thing into an all singing, all-dancing political panto-skit complete with a foreign overlords controlling a bunch of provincial halfwits shuffling around with their ties tucked into their shirts, you’re in the clear. People know where they stand. It’s a narrative.

Government: A sort of ‘Game of Gnomes’.

Lacky; You’re catching up.

Government; And then what?

Lacky; Then, the illuminati.

Government; Ooo, I got some lovely lamps from there once…Ponsonby Road I think….

Lacky; No. No. No. The ILLUMINATI. It’s a word that we use when we want to transform a legitimate set of concerns into an easily dismissed irrational paranoia limited to scraggy men in thin jumpers and moccasins. And weavers. Mustn’t forget the weavers….

Government; I dunno….

Lacky; Look, you just have to make people feel like they’re part of a group. No-one likes to be part of a group, especially Gen Xers. It compromises their individuality, totally wastes all those amazing flat-lays on Instagram.

Government; OK, let’s do it. Now, has anyone seen my keys?