Enough said. I could pretend I’m seriously busy but really I’m just hanging out with my kid subtly reinforcing gender roles. Or debunking them. I always get those two mixed up. Which is the one where you burn things and let your kid eat nothing but liquorice for lunch?
What’s this in the bottom of the bath? I don’t know where your shoes are, WHERE YOU LEFT THEM. Is that some kind of alarm, it’s beeping. There is beeping, I can hear it. Don’t just wave the toothbrush around in front of your face actually clean them. CLEAN THEM. In your mouth. You have fifty million pairs of bloody shoes, just find a pair and put them on! I’m not interested in what Traygon thinks about poo. They’re not too big, they’re perfect, otherwise they’ll go up your bum all day long. You’ll need a hat later for when you are not actually in bed, it’s going to be hot today. It should have been in your bag already because we are out the door now. No, we are out the door. OUT THE DOOR. OUT OUT OUT.